After painful situations, I believe it is normal for us to re-evaluate ourselves. I am human too and have found myself letting others define who I am or how I should feel. This has never served me, never will and it will be of no service to you either. Trust me.
In my opinion, I am an open book. I trust easily and make friends fairly well. I customarily give people 2nd and third chances while most would not let you past the first. This is just me. I may even know in my heart that my choice to keep things going will eventually end up in dust. Ya know the kind of dust that is icky and makes you sneeze, the kind that you can’t shake off. Here we roll – well, our thoughts begin to spiral. It’s me, not them. It’s them, not me. Why? What did I do or where did I go wrong?
Sometimes nothing and no one is to blame. People part for various reasons. No chemistry. (Love that one). You just cannot agree. So don’t. Agree to disagree. Often we just do not grow together but grow apart. Friendships go through phases, so do romantic relationships. All relationships do. Some do not survive. It can’t be helped. It still hurts. It hurts and confuses us. I could list twenty questions but I think you get the idea. Yes?
Now that I have done some boo- hooing, is that even a word? Here is my point-
No matter what hurts you, who does it or why, learn from that. Perseverating on it will only keep it stuck in the center of your chest and lodged in your brain. Grieve; feel rotten but certainly not forever. I know this is easier said than done. Been there done that. EW!
What can you learn?
- What works for you?
- Someone was dishonest, do you want that?
- Do you really have things in common?
- Was that friendship going both ways or just your friend’s way? I personally need my friends to step up for me and they do. If someone is my friend and they consistently miss the boat with me, ignore my needs and we don’t have an even exchange of “friendship”, it’s not really friendship. Consistently missing the boat means they are just NEVER around. Friends can often lose touch but they always catch up. True friends do.
- Boundaries.. That is a big one. Did you create boundaries?
- Self Respect. We like to believe we have it, do we?
The lesson is to learn what we want, will and won’t accept. There is no need to tolerate people in our lives who do not create an even balance of love, friendship, kindness and consideration with us. If we feel we are unworthy of all that life has to offer, we will not be receptive to what it is that we are truly wanting. All of us generally want the same things. It is true that we must think better of ourselves in order to attract and associate ourselves with phenomenal people. Each one of us has been created to enjoy life, teach others, love each other and most importantly love ourselves first.
So, step by step put the past in the back seat. Live in the present and look forward to the future. Be hopeful, mindful and move ahead. Forgive yourself as well as others. Think highly of yourself. No one comes into this world knowing exactly what to do. Life teaches us through experiences. None the less, if we do not have marvelous thoughts of ourselves we most certainly will never meet others who will think any better of us. No one can define you but you.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” (So True)
May you always be blessed on your journey.