Me Before We
It’s a noble thing to stay in a relationship because leaving would crush your partner. It’s also self- sacrificing. You’re loyal but terribly dissatisfied. The struggle is to balance the vow you made to your partner to stay in the relationship against the emotional despair for the desire to be “free”. If you stay despite your own despair, your resolves keep you in a relationship that has been unhappy for longer than it has been happy. Guilt, chaos, trauma, and judgment from others as well as self-disgust can often help you stay with your partner and avoid the choice to leave. Would you be able to live with yourself after leaving? Leaving or staying is painful.
You have always considered yourself an “honorable” person. Others have complimented how diligent you are, what a great partner, person you are and so on. No matter your decision to stay or go, be as aware and deliberate as you can. Try to work on making it better life for yourself, rather than letting it make you. The “pursuit of happiness” is a path of self-discovery. No one can tell you whether to stay or to go. No one has your perspective. And no one can discover YOU for you. No one walks In your shoes or has the one on one that you and your partner share. Yes, others will judge your choices but the fact is this; “Can you imagine yourself staying with that person for the rest of your days”?
Consider these key factors:
Is your relationship causing you stress?
Do you and your partner have much in common?
Is the relationship salvageable? Can you really talk to each other?
Can you imagine yourself without this person in your life?
Do you and your partner have the same goals?
Is there chemistry?
These are just a few questions to consider.
Relationships are never perfect. There is no such thing. Society has created love stories, movies and novels that have a very strong impact on how we subconsciously view what a romantic relationship should feel like. In the real world relationships take time, trust, patience, honesty and unity. Both parties have to be willing in good times and bad.
If you’re emotionally healthy, grounded and respect yourself prior to ever stepping foot into a relationship, you are entering fully equipped. Your partner should be in the same place. Even with that being said, relationships can fall apart over time for various reasons. There needs to be boundaries, guidelines, goals, trust and desires. What is each person willing to put forth? Are you both generally on the same page?
Staying in a relationship in fear of hurting another or what others may think is self- sacrificing. You’re not doing yourself or your partner any favors. Actually, you are hindering growth for both of you. Both parties deserve to be happy.