The Fear Factor.
Uncertainty, negativity, anxiety and fear. What a toxic and condemning combination. Fear can be debilitating to say the least, couple it with negative thoughts and you’ve served yourself a recipe for calamity.
Did you know that 85%of the things we fear never happen? “Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened. Now there’s a study that proves it. This study looked into how many of our imagined calamities never materialize. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen”.
This leaves us with 15% of people that did experience negative encounters. Statistics show that some 79 % of subjects discovered either they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning. This means that 97 % of what you worry over is not much more than a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions. “A fearful mind will open the door for a negative soul”. – M. Caporale
Montaigne’s quote has made many people chuckle for centuries. Worrying, being negative and living in fear is no joke. A worried mind is constant on the brain, and chronic fear and stress will generate nothing but those stress hormones. Ever hear the expression; “Stress is a killer”? There is good reason for that. Worrying, being fearful and negative drops all this into your system. It shrinks brain mass, makes you prone to heart disease, depression, aging prematurely and naturally a slew of problems with family and friends. Really? Yes, really!
Life is customized for us to experience EVERYTHING. Although fear and negativity are part of having a human experience, it is not designed to be integrated with our lives every day. There comes a point where you have to stop, think and re- evaluate your situation. Is it you? Is it your job, family or certain people you deal with that cause this fear? Do they serve nothing but negativity for an appetizer? Is your main course fear with a side of anxiety?
I have been a professional intuitive for over sixteen years and now a certified life coach. In my years of reading sessions I have been a witness to many a client living their life in fear, struggling with negative behavior and or people. Delivering information that these situations or individuals will not change is taxing. However, spirit gives options. I myself have also encountered such issues.
I wouldn’t be human if I said otherwise. I have seen people spin themselves out of control over situations that couldn’t ever be controlled. In fact, the only control we ever have is control over ourselves, how to handle something or someone. It’s nice to think we can control another person’s actions or a situation, even an outcome. We can’t. We can only control our own actions, handle our own situations and be positive for the best possible outcome. We all struggle. We all have big and small issues to cope with. Our lives are never perfect. We are always challenged to evolve, love and learn.
Life is precious and goes by very quickly. Why waste so much time on being afraid and living with negative thoughts? When you step back, look back on years past you will only then see that you have festered over nothing or you handled what was thrown at you. I realize it is so much easier said than done but it can be something you can change. After all aren’t we all a work in progress? I certainly am.
How do we switch our thoughts?
Thoughts are powerful. What we think, we are or will become. I am a true believer in this.
Practice makes perfect so you must practice every day without reserve. No excuses, no changing things! Think of this new way of thinking just as you would study for an exam.
We change our thoughts one moment at a time. When thinking a negative thought or fearful thought, switch it out immediately. I.e.; “I’m afraid I won’t do a good job, I don’t feel very confident with my performance these last few weeks”. I.e.; “What a challenge I have with my job, I am so grateful because I can handle the work. Besides, I am worthy of all the fantastic opportunities that are coming my way”. Simple example.
Let’s face it, negative people are everywhere. A client just recently had me laughing when he said; “The negativity in that place is like gum that I just stepped in that I can’t get off my shoe. You know, the kind you find under the desk at school? So I put on a new pair of shoes to get it off and BAM, I step in the gum again”.
Our family, friends, work place, any one or place can create negativity. You need to gage when to listen so you can be of help or when to step back. If it is affecting you, draining you and causing stress it is time to step away. I understand there are complicated situations that we encounter. Family can be difficult and friendships often pull on our heart strings. If you are not good for you, I promise you will not be any good for anyone else.
Here are some fantastic ways to get out of the fear and negativity:
- In through the nose, out through the mouth.
- Is this really worth being afraid of?
- Give up your control. Can you control or change it? No. You can control you.
- Whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for.
- Learning to deal with fear is all about putting those fearful negative thoughts in a compartment. We tend to focus too much on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing.
- When I really have a need to know something I am on the hunt to read as much about the subject as I can. Reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I would encourage you to read inspirational and motivational books as well.
- Journaling. Getting your fears down on paper is important because trying to think them through doesn’t work. You get caught in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make you miserable.
- Talk. Talk about your fear or negative feelings with a Therapist, Coach or good friend.
- Meaning.I believe we all go through situations for a reason. That includes the fears we have. It also includes overcoming fear and learning the lessons that come out of it. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but looking back at the challenges and fears in my life, I see that more often than not, they delivered exactly the message I needed at that time. Again, the universe provides and teaches.
- Pray. Prayer is powerful. The Divine, God, whatever you prefer to say is always with us. Your prayers never fall on deaf ears.
- Exercise. You have to love all the benefits that exercise can bestow upon you. It helps to release stress amongst many other benefits. Take a walk.
These are just some suggestions that are sure to help you overcome your fear and any negative factors you may be experiencing.
Remember, one step at a time and be repetitive when doing the exercises above.
Michelle Caporale is a Certified Intuitive, Medium and Life Coach. She offers private sessions, group parties and teaches locally in the Tampa Bay area. You can learn more: http://www.michellecaporale.com