Defining your romantic status

It’s often fun to meet someone new, start dating, getting to know people by going out and enjoying yourself.

When we connect with someone it feels fantastic. It’s easy. It’s smooth and we feel really good about our interaction. We have a tendency to wonder if that person is the “one”.

It is a constant that I am asked almost daily and if that person is going to lead to more of a exclusive relationship.

Dating and relationships are two terms often used interchangeably, but they hold different meanings and implications. While both involve spending time with someone you’re interested in, they represent distinct stages of romantic involvement.

Dating means - I am single, not committed and I enjoy my time with you but we are both free to see other people if we so choose.

Dating means you’re getting to know someone and during that process you’ll discover if you indeed have the chemistry that would encourage you to dive deeper by seeing them more. (This needs to be mutual)

We date to find who we fit with and who fits with us. We date to have fun and experience other people. We date to enjoy ourselves and another’s company. We date share who we are with others and learn who they are.

Dating does not constitute a relationship, promise, exclusivity, marriage or any of those things. Dating doesn’t mean we have the right to ask if the other person is seeing anyone else or what they’re doing when they are not seeing us.

Frankly, it’s none of anyone’s business what someone else is doing if we are just dating them without any conversation of a commitment. We can choose to excuse ourselves if feeling uncomfortable or if this isn’t your thing.

When I was dating it was my business not anyone else’s and I didn’t ask what someone else was up to. When I dated my husband, we did what we wanted separately and together. If he couldn’t see me, I didn’t ask any questions. ( I never said I didn’t want to, I just didn’t ask)

When dating I was extremely perceptive. I watched for red flags. I advise you do the same as it’s in your best interest. You want to date those that share your opinion and interests as well as your moral compass.

“Hi, I think you’re great but I can’t stand animals so I can only see you at my place or outside your home because you have pets”.

That was a red flag. I have animals and always did.

Don’t try to convince yourself you can change someone, it doesn’t work. The only one you can change is yourself.

Relationships require a solid foundation built on trust, respect, and shared values. Partners need to invest time and effort in understanding each other’s needs, building a strong emotional connection, and nurturing the relationship through mutual support and care. This takes time and you both have to want this.

Making the transition from dating to a relationship involves various factors that indicate the compatibility and potential for long-term commitment.

When both parties want to be in an exclusive relationship that is a real commitment, they both agree. Communication is crucial and should come fairly easy.

Emotional intimacy involves deep emotional connections, vulnerability, and empathy. It enables partners to share their innermost thoughts, feelings, and fears, fostering a strong bond and a sense of security within the relationship. All these things and much more come with a “relationship”, not dating.

Remember to be open to understanding that it takes time to get into a relationship. Dating a few months is not a relationship. There must be a mutual agreement. Take your time. It really does take a long time to get to know someone. I’ve been with my husband for many years and yet we still learn new things about each other.

You cannot force a feeling either. If you acquire more of a connection then the individual you’re dating, that is just part of the path. They may not feel the same or be in the place where you are.

Last but not least- When someone wants to be with you, they make it very clear. There’s no sugar coating or second guessing. People always show you who they are and how they feel. It’s best to pay attention. The right person will come and when they do, you’ll understand why the others didn’t work out. You have to want only the best for yourself. Happiness is not overrated, neither is a true loving relationship.

Hugs,

Michelle