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Writer's pictureMichelle Caporale

Fear of committing- How to avoid this and not get stuck


Don't you just get really annoyed when someone says I love you but I can't commit? I'm afraid I'm not sure I don't know what I'm doing I'm not ready yet.


Many times it is not because They are bad people or that they're just using you a lot of times it's because that's the truth and that's understandable and here are some examples of that.



If they have a fear of commitment or commitment phobia, that doesn’t necessarily mean they:

  • don’t love you

  • don’t value you

  • are rejecting you

  • don’t want to spend time with you

  • are cheating on you

  • are playing with you

It may be difficult for someone to deal with the commitment itself but not the feelings. They may be in love, want to spend time with you, and even desire to get closer. Yet, they might have a hard time dealing with the dedication and engagement this may require.


The above is very common but you have to learn to decipher which is which and we also have to know our own value in our own strengths.


Attachment Insecurity


Past Trauma


Family issues


Family history


Low or no self esteem


It can be challenging for some people with negative self-images to accept that they are worthy of love and devotion from a romantic partner. This could lead them to avoid commitment in an effort to prevent getting hurt.


Emotionally unavailable


Mental or emotional issues

This falls under so many categories I don't know if I could count and this would also fall under the category of someone being a narcissist. The only way to play with a narcissist as to not play.


How to find the right partner?


What do you want?

Seriously. What do you imagine your ideal person to be like? Don't expect perfection as none of us perfect. Do write down specifically what you want! Be very very clear.


Date them

Have fun and date. Make suggestions let them do the same.


Be aware of that person that wants to marry you after two dates. Really? Yes, really!


Laugh

They need to be able to laugh and to have an attitude of making the best of things. Laughter is not overrated.


They respect boundaries


They are comfortable being themselves and want you to do the same


They COMMUNICATE- big one

Talk is cheap, yes. However, not communicating is worse. That is not only cheap but bankrupting.


They are respectful of family. Yours and theirs.

This is a huge one escpically if there are children involved.


They value themselves and their time as well as yours. You know this is a two way street. It has to be.


They aren't going for the championship In financially destroying themselves.

Money can ruin a relationship. Most couples do fight over money issues.


They know how to chill.

Sometimes you just need a chill out day. Relax and enjoy a movie or a great weather walk. Whatever your preference and theirs. Take turns,



You share more in common then less.

I am an animal lover and advocate. I could never be with someone who didn't respect and support that.


Always be who you are and remember you cannot change anyone but you and on thst note, don't try to change for someone else. It never works. EVER!


Relationship Session can be purchased on the site.



There are more choices on the sessions page

Wishing you joy!

Michelle 💜








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