A relationship that is toxic is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. You can literally become physically ill. It feels like the life is sucked out of you. You will feel a sense of being drained. This is not healthy and not the relationship you want, no matter who the other party may be.
This list describes the common signs of a toxic relationship, whether it’s with a friend, partner, colleague, or family member. When you consistently feel drained, disrespected, or emotionally manipulated, it’s a strong indicator that the dynamic is unhealthy.
If you’re experiencing this with someone in your life, it may be time to evaluate the relationship. Ask yourself:
• Does this person add value to my life, or do they consistently take from it?
• Do I feel emotionally safe, supported, and respected?
• Am I staying in this relationship out of guilt, obligation, or fear?
Toxic relationships can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. If distancing yourself isn’t possible or easy, setting firm boundaries and prioritizing self-care is essential. In some cases, seeking guidance from a therapist or life coach can provide clarity on the best course of action.
I can honestly say I have experienced this myself in my personal and professional experience as well as having to reevaluate how I address other people myself. It’s absolutely draining. It takes away and does not add to the quality of your life. It drags you so far down.
How do you deal with this?
Below are some steps for managing a toxic relationship while prioritizing your well-being. Recognizing toxicity is the first step, but knowing how to navigate it effectively is key. Here’s how you can deepen each of these strategies:
1. Communicate Clearly and Assertively – Express your concerns honestly but respectfully. Use “I feel” statements to reduce defensiveness. Example: “I feel hurt when my opinions are dismissed, and I’d appreciate being heard.”
2. Evaluate the Willingness to Change – If the other person is receptive to feedback and willing to adjust their behavior, the relationship may have potential. However, if they consistently dismiss your concerns, it may be best to set firmer boundaries.
3. Prioritize Your Mental and Emotional Well-being – Ask yourself: Does this relationship bring me more pain than joy? Am I constantly on edge or drained after interacting with this person? If so, it may be time to step back.
4. Set and Enforce Boundaries – Limiting interactions is necessary when full separation isn’t possible (e.g., with coworkers or family members). Keep conversations neutral and brief, avoid oversharing, and don’t engage in toxic patterns.
5. Recognize When Change is Unlikely – Some individuals lack self-awareness or the ability to change their behavior. Accepting this can help you stop seeking validation or improvement where it’s unlikely to happen.
6. Stand Up for Yourself Calmly – If you’re being mistreated, respond with confidence rather than aggression. A simple, “I don’t appreciate that,” or “Let’s keep this on point”
You must understand you’re not going to change anyone but yourself and how you handle yourself. You are not going to flip or turn someone around unless they are willing to do so.
Seeking professional help is always an option and a good central place to learn coping skills and strategies.
The bottom line is truly your sanity. You will not excel or grow from staying in such an unhealthy environment. Give yourself room to exist and breathe. Do what you can for you.
-Michelle
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